Hot People ARE your friends

Well, I finally got that label I was after.

Friends.

I saw it coming; I'm kind of an expert at it now. The key is to listen for two words: interesting and fun. Death. Knell. These words are instantly translated in my brain to "I like you, just not in the way where I want to make out with you or rub up against you or touch your boobs." This is unfortunate, because I really enjoy making out, being rubbed up against, and having my boobs touched. On the other hand, I also like having friends...and could probably use more of them. If I had more, I might actually believe that I'm interesting and fun.

And that's my problem. I don't really believe it. So, when I meet other people that I think are interesting and fun, I feel as though I have nothing to offer them, and, more often than not, self-fulfilling-prophecy myself out of the relationship.

In the meantime, because I don't like being alone (more friends might help with this too, hey?), I just go crashing into anyone that shows the slightest bit of interest, hoping that one of these days, something will stick. This always results in regret, which makes me feel even less interesting and fun.

Sigh...

Ok - who here is sick of me waxing philosophical about myself? I feel like I've been acknowledging my shortcomings for long enough, and not just a few friends & acquaintances have grown weary of it. To you, and them, I apologise. Let these be days of action. And let interesting and fun MEAN interesting and fun, and not just code for friendzone.