I finally got my pictures and permission from the photographer. THIS is what all the fuss was about.
If this picture is to be believed, my boyfriend's mother should have been grandmother to octuplets sometime mid-March. Luckily, it isn't to be believed. The prosthetic belly used in this play was made by and worn by women who have never been pregnant. I stuck it on. We looked at it. We thought maybe it should look bigger. We put more padding on. And then we decided it was more for comedic value than realism.
Last week, one of my clients congratulated me on having gotten married recently. When I looked at her with this face...
she said she'd heard through the grapevine that I'd gotten married. I have not gotten married and just magically forgotten to blog about it. I've not gotten engaged. I've not talked about either of those things with any party who might want, in future, to be involved in that with me. Trust me. If I had, it would have made the blog.
I'm quite sure, almost completely without doubt, that she thought I was getting married or had gotten married because of this:
And if this picture is to be believed, then one must also believe that I got married on four separate occasions to the same man, not wearing a wedding dress, but with one draped over me. And one must also believe that I would marry a man who's idea of a life partner is one who dresses like this:
With a pink, pie-patterned apron and clashing blue patterned knit cardigan, and matching blue knit stockings....AND thinks that THIS is the best way to do makeup:
Just look at the foolishness I've wrought with that lipstick and rouge.
One aspect of small-town life that's been difficult to adjust to has been everyone being totally and unabashedly inquisitive about my relationship status. It's totally legit here for people to ask you when you plan on marrying your boyfriend of 4 months. I handle these questions by responding with this face.
Like a hot person would?
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Photos courtesy of Cal Knight Photography.
Oh no, this goes back farther than your play. Remember the little old ladies? At the Fair? Remember I told you that you'd have to eliminate them? Yeah. You should have listened.
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