Hot People Don't Shit the Bed

Okay - so I obviously don't mean literally (although I'm sure hot people also tend not to literally shit the bed either).

What I really mean is that hot people don't throw themselves at the first attractive guy they see on their first day out since becoming single. And they certainly don't have small, but public, meltdowns when things don't go right. I call the meltdown "shitting the bed" because really...it's all about making a stanky mess because you couldn't contain your emotional shit.

Clearly, I have recently shit the bed. It's especially bad to shit the bed when you've been drinking because you've got no sense of perspective when you're intoxicated - so you come home inconsolably upset (which is awful when there's actually nobody at home to console you because you just broke up with them), fall asleep, and then wake up hungover and TOTALLY EMBARRASSED by your public display of tragically unrequited flirtiness and subsequent emotional diarrhea. It's kind of like that pounding in your hungover brain is shouting "IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!" at you. This feeling is amplified by the fact that you KNOW you've made everyone who was with you TOTALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. You know when someone you sorta know is crying, but you're not close enough with them to ask for the full details and you therefore feel totally unequipped to comfort them - so you just kind of stand there awkwardly while they cry. Yeah...THAT kind of uncomfortable.

But thinking back to a literal bed-shitting - you know...they're embarrassing, but they likely happened because something was going wrong internally and you probably feel a little better after you've had a hot, hot shower. The same is true for a metaphorical bed-shitting - while embarrassing, it's pretty cathartic - it's amazing how someone's douchebaggy decline of your advances can open your eyes to other douchebaggery (must use this word more in life) that you had been ignoring because you were blinded by his shiny prettiness. It feels kinda good to get that out of your system.